was another me,
but that person disappeared
before I got free:
I was running so fast
to get to my goal,
when little did I know it,
but my life they stole.
They said money, fame,
a recognized name,
fortune and success,
get all the glory
and be self-obsessed.
But somewhere along
the very wrong way
my soul seemed to scream,
I was pulled downstream.
So extreme was the sudden halt,
when my name was called,
and I was condemned for assault.
I never meant to fight the guy,
but he told a lie and so,
I couldn't just let it go.
Now I am here, locked up,
stuff is tough and never clear,
I am not the puppet nor the puppeteer.
What is freedom, is to fly in a plane?
escape these chains,
and what do I gain
if all things will fail me?
I could book a trip
on a cruise ship,
become a millionaire
for inventing a micro chip.
Yet inside my mind
no freedom can I find,
to what makes me blind.
Resigned to be inclined,
to want to escape the thoughts inside,
that make me hide,
from the man I could become.
Why? What have I done?
Yet it's in the past,
which I can not change
so strange is this curse called time,
can't go forward because I can't go back,
my mind could snap.
I am frozen, broken,
isolated, frustrated, agitated
and yet illustrated
as the woeful criminal.
Great, how original,
typical to point the finger,
when you too should be here.
One day, I read something that took
me down a new road,
a quote that John wrote in chapter 3,
for the first time I felt truly free.
It said that though a man
who had already lived,
could yet be born again.
I don't have to make excuses,
be confused or give reasons.
Because all is covered
in the blood of Jesus.
He sees us in isolation,
the place of desolation
and deprivation and
without hesitation
wants to create a
new creation.
The past erased with a gift called grace
to embrace a sinner like me.
My inner prison no longer my vision
but the joy of real forgiveness.
I don't see the cement walls
or locked gate I see freedom.
I don't see the barb wire
or guard tower I see the Kingdom.
Behind these bars is the real me,
because behind these bars
is a man who is truly free".
Jn.3:3-8/Jn.8:32/Heb.13:3
(Inspired by actual, and quite incredible
conversations I have had with
inmates in Brazil)